Dont excited, I didnt get to meet him! I wish!
This is actually a post I’ve sat down to write so many times, but didnt know how. Over the past couple of weeks little things have come up here and there that have prompted me to share this story.
Im pretty sure by now everyone knows who Cam Newton is. If you dont, ask me and Ill tell you how great I think he is 🙂 If you know about Cam, you also know the rumors surrounding him when his dad claimed he had shopped Cam around to other schools including Mississippi State and was offering them money and vice versa so Cam could play there. Lots of allegations ensued, hurtful comments and slams on Cam’s character and claims that he knew exactly what had happened. I believed in my heart of hearts that he had no idea. Cam’s life struggles and family drama played out in front of millions of people. My heart broke for him. I know that pain, but thankfully mine didnt happen in front of everyone.
A couple weeks ago I was talking football with some people and it got heated, like it does in the south when you talk about the SEC. Someone (a UGA fan to be exact 🙂 ) said that they hated Cam Newton and that they wish someone would slap the smile off his face. They said that what Cam did was wrong and that of course he knew exactly what his dad was doing. She said that her own daughter knows what she does and would know if she had done something like that. Really? Everything?? I wanted to shout out at that moment, “Well, let me tell you, you dont always know what your parents are doing, just ask me!!” Dont worry I didn’t. Word to the wise, dont hate on Cam in my presence 🙂 It will get ugly!
All that to say, I could really resonate with what was going on in his life. I know exactly how it feels to be betrayed and let down by your parents. When things dont turn out how you thought they would. Cam’s dad wasn’t able to attend the ceremony where his son won the biggest award of his career, The Heisman. My parents havent been around to see moments in my life and all because of a drive to want more, get more and not stop until you get it and at any cost.
Im sure you are asking, ok so how do you really know how it feels? Get to the point already!! Well, back in June we ran my credit report. We were thinking about buying a house so we just wanted to see financially where we were at. Something got flagged so I checked into it. My parents had gotten me a credit card in high school when I started driving so I could build up credit. It was only used for gas and that was it. When I went off to college I used it for books, groceries, and gas. At the end of each month my parents would pay it off so that I could continue to have good credit. I always asked them before I put anything on there just to make sure it was ok with them and the charges never got out of control. I studied abroad in 2006 and that was the card I was told to use while I was traveling. When I got engaged in 2008 my parents once again told me I could use that same card for wedding stuff and they would pay it off. As any other trusting child would I believed my parents and never thought twice about it. I believed they would pay it off because they wanted to set me up for a great financial future.
I had stopped using the card the day we got married in June 2009. The card was now gone and was no longer being used, or so I thought. There had been recent charges and that was what was being flagged. I called the credit card company to see what was going on and they read down a list of charges. I said thank you and hung up. How could there be charges? And what the heck were these charges for? Where did they come from? As I did some reasearch online I confirmed my worst fears. It was my parents. They had changed the address on the card so that everything would go to them; new cards, statements, etc. but the card was still in my name and social security number. The balance was staggering and I was scared, angry, sad, all at the same time. Since my wedding they had been making purchases without me knowing anything. They were taking trips, buying gifts, gas, trips to Walmart, golfing, and hotel rooms. All of these things were just material, and didn’t matter. They didnt have to have any of these things, but chose to put me in jeopardy because of selfish desires.
I pondered how could they do this? Something 1) that was illegal but 2) something that was going to hurt my future when from 16 years old on they had told me that they want me to have great credit. It didnt make sense until I later found out they were having huge financial struggles and stole my card in an effort to continue to live the lifestyle that they were accustomed too. I was just being used in an effort to get what they wanted. They have expressed their feelings and stated that they knew what they were doing and have no remorse. They dont feel as though they have done anything wrong. They had no intentions of paying the balance off ever, and now it is on our shoulders to reconcile.
I never dreamed that my own parents would do this to me and not even feel bad about it. Money and sin do that to people. The greed takes over and holds on tight. I believe it is what happened to Cam’s dad. He saw the potential in his son and saw that he could probably make tons of money off of him. Cam was pushed to the back while money, fame, fortune came to the forefront. He would do anything for it, including jeopardizing his son’s winning season at Auburn and great career and future in the NFL.
Sometimes we think we know exactly what a person is feeling, thinking, or why they did something. That is simply not so. Cam’s dad could hide those lies and secrets from him just as easily as my parents did. So, next time we jump to conclusions, just remember that you may not have all the facts. It is so easy to assume things, but unless we know a person’s situation we really cant judge what is going on. Until you have a “Cam” moment I think it is hard to understand. Now that I am in the middle of this, although not on TV, it is so painful and heartbreaking. I couldn’t imagine my character being questioned or accused of being a part of all the drama. I have learned, just as Im sure he did, to stay strong and know that just because they did that, doesnt mean that is my identity. I dont have to be like that.
So, trust me when I say that he didn’t know.